I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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