How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
When are your genitals available?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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