first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize