Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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