ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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