that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
