I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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