they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
