Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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