i don't like sucking hair
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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