Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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