It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have fence marks all over my body
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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