Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
