Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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