Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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