how do flat chested girls get laid?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
