Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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