This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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