I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
