Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
