yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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