break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My first STD was from a foam party
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
