the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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