I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
