You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
