I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
