i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Small penises have feelings too.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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