The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
