I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
