WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
