the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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