i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
