You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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