I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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