Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
