Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
