What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
