so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We are all done wearing pants today
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
