that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
