Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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