do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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