Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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