I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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