Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
