Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
