How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
