so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
