I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
