My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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