oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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