My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so explain again why im purple
no
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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