he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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