just come out here and I will go home with you...
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
