i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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