Have you finally orgasmed yet?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
