It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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