You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
