Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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