the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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