Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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