I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
