Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
