I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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