You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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