Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
