what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
