Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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