So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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