Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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